Doomsday 2012
by Dragon Silhouette
Summary: The world has survived Doomsday 2012! However, looking at the personified nations... [sort of veers towards crack near the end]


**Disclaimer: Hetalia isn't mine.**

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**Doomsday 2012**

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America pushed the last of the nations – Algeria? – inside the underground nuclear bunker. He ran in, slammed the thick metal door shut, and locked it.

"Idiot," said a voice dripping with loathing and English disapproval.

"Be thankful I decided to save you," America responded, turning to face his estranged father/brother/mentor/thing.

"I'd rather die than spend a night with him," England snarled, pointing a quivering finger at France.

The Frenchman looked offended. "Excusez-moi! I am right here!"

"Yes, frog, now shut up."

"Now, now," America said loudly, "we can't fight amongst ourselves! Tomorrow, we'll be the only living being on Earth!"

Germany pointed out, "Does it not occur to you that if our people die, then we die also?" He was ignored.

"No need to thank me!" America said over the irritated din of the crowded room. "I'm only doing my job as the hero! But if you want to, like, worship the ground I walk on or something, you're totally welcome to do so…"

England smacked him upside the head.

Italy appeared from the crowd (rather, he looked like he was _pushed out_ from the crowd…) and clung to Germany's arm. "Ve, Germany, what's going on?"

"I'm saving you all!" America said. "That's what's going on!"

"Hey!" Prussia shoved his way out of the crowd. "Lemme out! I'm too awesome to – ow! I saw that, Hungary!" He rubbed his aching head and told America, "What the hell, man? Why'd you force the awesome me to share a room with these losers?"

China joined the small group, donning pyjamas decorated with pandas. "What's going on, aru? Where is Shinatty-chan?"

America, deciding to explain himself all in one go, pulled a blow horn out of nowhere and pressed the notch. He hummed to himself as a loud screech emitted from the horn. The ones closest to him were nearly deafened.

"Hey!" he said as the nations quieted down. "Listen to the hero. So, I know you're all wondering why you're here. Today's the twentieth of December – d'ya know what that means?"

Some of the more modern nations realised and facepalmed.

"Tomorrow's Doomsday!" he said cheerfully. "According to the Mayan calendar, the world ends tomorrow, on the twenty-first. 'Cause I'm the awesome hero, I decided to share my bunk with you and ride out the end of the world with all my fellow nations!"

You could hear a pin drop in the room.

Finally, Guatemala spoke up: "America, the Mayans didn't mean that the world will end. The end of the Mayan calendar just symbolises the end of an old era and the birth of a new era – "

"Yeah, the birth of a new era after doomsday!" America stared at Guatemala sunnily, excluding the confidence of one that had lots of money, power, and nuclear weapons. "Doomsday is tomorrow, yeah?"

Guatemala saw the threat of said nuclear weapons and gulped. "Uh, sure."

Australia said, "It's the twenty-first in my country now, and we're still alive…"

America dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "You guys are backwards. Now," he continued, ignoring Australia's dirty looks, "let's all sit in a circle and sing Christmas carols!"

"I don't celebrate Christmas," Turkey objected.

America gave him the I-have-nuclear-weapons-you-must-obey look. Turkey flinched. "I mean, it's a good time to convert…"

"Awesome! Now, everyone sing along. _Frosty the Snowman was a jolly, happy soul…_"

England rubbed his forehead. He was going to have to spend the night with him and him. Sweet Elizabeth, if he survived this night, he was going to make a dozen servings of scones and give them out to people on the streets.

(England thought this was a charitable action.)

* * *

_December 21st, 2012_

England opened his eyes and felt his ridiculously humongous eyebrows twitch.

America was sleeping beside him.

Snoring.

And suffocating him with an arm draped across his neck.

Damn the small bunker. It was big enough to hold around two hundred nations while standing, but while sleeping was an entirely different matter. Some slept on top of each other (only for those who are extremely close), some slept while standing (Singapore), and the rest just kind of squished together on the floor. Many nations, because of their history of wars and invasions, were restless sleepers.

Hence, the suffocating grip America had on England.

"Get… your bloody arm… off my neck!" England hissed.

"No, Thor, you can't kill the Hulk," America murmured, drawing England closer to him. The Briton was practically blue now.

France, who insisted on sleeping beside England (and threatened to shove snails down England's throat if he did not agree), woke up, saw what was happening, and joined the hug-fest. "L'Angleterre~!"

England pushed off America's arm and yelled, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!"

_Boom!_

Switzerland, who was nearby, woke up and accidentally pressed the trigger of his gun.

And shot Russia.

Russia, being Russia, reacted instantly and grabbed his pipe, pummeling nearby nations with the blunt end.

America, being America, tackled Russia to the ground and started a mini Cold War right then and there.

China, being in a secret relationship with Russia, joined the fight and deployed massive damage with his wok.

England, seeing his former colony being beaten up by two great powers, jumped into the fray.

The Commonwealth, seeing England fighting in the middle, leapt into the fight. That's like one-thirds of the world, folks.

After that, well, everyone saw this as an opportunity to settle old disputes.

One hour and thirty-three minutes later, all the personified nations were dead.

And thus, the end of the world.

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**It started off normal. And then I got distracted, started reading about the Russian Revolution, and then... that.**  
**So! We survived Doomsday 2012! Wee!**

**Happy Holidays to you all!**


End file.
